I haven't been posting lately.

I'm sorry.

Well, I don't have any followers so that's fine then, right? Anyway...

Life's been boring. I'll update you guys when something interesting happens.

An Update and an Invitation

I haven't written in quite sometime and I have only one plausible explanation for my absence; and that, my friends, is the prison known as school. I'm not going to complain about school, as of now it's pretty tolerable. So far, the homeworks aren't as bad as I thought they would be, and I got a pretty decent score in my Geometry diagnostic test. My classmates, well, they're very hyper; and at least I made some new friends. I hope third year won't "break me", as some would call it. I'm ready for those all-nighters (ugh, no!); and for those terrible work projects. Although, I'm pretty hyped up over our newest English Transfer Task. We're supposed to make a Literary Analysis paper on the book which we chose. I usually do those things in my head, where I analyze a character and whatnot, so I'm really looking forward to writing it down and submitting it to my English teacher.

I've also re-opened my goodreads account. Well, I never really used my old one; because I was too lazy to find out how to actually use goodreads, but now I feel productive and ready to rate and review books; and to find new ones. I should really keep my other accounts active, or to at least deactivate the ones I don't use.

~~~

I also joined this Youth Ministry here in my neighborhood. I was a bit apprehensive about that at first; but then I realized that several Theresians from the batch above me joined, so I decided to give it a shot.

This Saturday, we're having a fun run. If any of my followers here are interested in joining, please message me on my Tumblr . I must remind all of you though that in order to join this fun run, you'll have to pay Php 150 and it starts in the wee hours of the morning. You get a free shirt and a bag of goodies! But it'll be totally worth it!


COME TO THE FUN RUN, WHERE IT'S MORE FUN IN WEST TRIANGLE! 

Flawed Design

Hi guys! Okay, so, this is going to be a really short blog post (I'm tired and I can't stop thinking about school, so, yeah).... but I just found Loki's song. Well, I rediscovered it, that is. I was searching for fanvids of the Avengers online and well, I saw this, and then I thought: WOW! This is so Loki! 

Well, I searched this song on Tumblr, and boy, was I late. It turns out a lot of people realized this as well. Haha. Oh well, here's a video of the song with Loki as the star.

Disclaimer: This video is not mine.

Enchanting Enchantress

Hi guys! So, today I'm totally happy because; number one: It's my grandfather's ____ birthday, (nope, not going to tell you how old he really is. He might kill me if I do. Haha. I'm kidding. Love you, grandpa) and we're eating out today. We're going to this small restaurant near our neighborhood, and I'm so excited because, well, I haven't eaten there in AGES; and I'm really craving their roastbeef and gravy right now.

And number two, I finally got the Enchantress! It's the latest and final installment of the series known as The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel- a series, which I fell inlove with two years ago. The story revolves around Nicholas Flamel, the great Alchemyst and his wife Perenelle Flamel; and their search for the Golden and Silver Twins. I'd go into detail, but the plot is incredibly complicated. I fear that by simply summarizing the whole thing here, I'd be half-dead by the time I'd finish. Haha, kidding again. I'm in a really good mood.

Honestly, this is one of my favorite book series (along with Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Percy Jackson, The Heroes of Olympus, The Kane Chronicles, The Secret Series, the Mysterious Benedict Society, Septimus Heap, The 39 Clues... well, you get the picture); and personally, I think Michael Scott is a genius; I love how he portrayed Billy the Kid and Virginia Dare. His character development is brilliant, and I hope to somehow be as good as he is in the future.

Two Friends, Two Subjects

Right now, there are two things on my mind. One is about the constant yelling and podium-slamming that's happening on TV right now; I am watching the final verdict of Corona that is happening on my television. After watching Miriam Defensor's speech, I couldn't help but think: Wow. Shouting really doesn't help when you want to be listened to.

Take note, I said listened to. Not heard. There is a very big difference between the two.

Sure, I was interested in the speech of Ms. Miriam Defensor, but honestly, I couldn't help but reach for my remote control and turn down the volume as she yelled. Her mouth, moving in directions I couldn't have dreamed a mouth could moved in, caught my attention--- more so than the words coming out of her mouth. The way she switched from Filipino to English really got on my nerves; once I got used to her screaming in rapid fire Filipino, she'd suddenly pull an Oprah Winfrey and give a very clear and proper sentence spoken in English. It was only during the end, after I went up and got an Advil pill from the medicine case, did I realize that she didn't want Corona to be convicted.

Groaning at the fact that her voice was very loud and annoying, I went to my grandfather and said that Miriam Defensor should not have spoken; and that she should have said her verdict in one sentence, I was shocked that he answered me with a simple sentence: She had the best argument.

Now that I had time to think of it, I really didn't listen to her message. In fact, I simply sat there, complaining that she was straining her vocal cords. Yes, I heard her voice (which was very loud, in fact), but I didn't listen to what she said. Perhaps Miriam Defensor had a good speech, and perhaps her arguments were very strong and thought-out, but her shouting got in the way of what she was saying. When you shout, you don't only make yourself tired; you actually make everyone listening to you tired as well. Most of the people in the room, would just go: What the hell, I'll just put on my earplugs. Tell me when she's done talking; and only the few with a a bucket filled with patience would just go and actually listen to the person shouting.

That is why from now on, I promise not to strain my voice. I promise not to scream when no one listens to me, or when someone starts arguing with me. If I want someone to listen, I'll simply go talk to that person calmly and assertively--- the perfect combination, according to Cesar Milan, that is.

~~~

The second thing on my mind is on jealousy. Well, not the kind of jealousy which Korra might feel whenever she'd see Mako and Asami together (Oh my gods, I am addicted to that show.); no, I'm talking about the jealousy I feel whenever I see two of my friends growing closer together as I slowly drift away. You see, I have had this friend since god knows when. I grew close to this person, and I considered her as a sister. We talked for hours on end, and she seeemed like someone I could confide with. She became that friend I'd always dream I would have--- the Stitch to my Lilo, the Flounder to my Ariel, the Mushu to my Mulan....

But suddenly, we added another person to our loop and soon we became a triad. It was fun for me at first. I decided to welcome this person with open arms; making sure she'll feel accepted in our circle (not that I needed to; my other friend was doing fine without me). The phrase "the more the merrier" came into mind as I'd talk to her and my friend. I definitely agreed with that statement then...

As of now, I'm not so sure. I feel that I'm starting to drift away from the two; I feel as if I'm slowly turning into a ghost when I stay with them. Now a days, I merely observe from a distance as I watch the two talk to each other, or if I do talk to them, they start talking about what they did while I was somewhere in the universe. I felt left out. It's as if I became the middle man, the fallback guy and whatnot.

But I don't blame them. I don't blame myself. I don't blame anyone else but growth, maturity and development... and the weird thing is, I don't know why I blame them either.

~~~

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to write. I'll just stop writing and take another long, cold shower. That might be able to clear my mind.

New Layout

I just wasn't feeling the old one. What do you think? To save or not to save?

Headaches and Migraines

My head has been throbbing for the past few days. Maybe I've simply been over thinking a few unimportant things- such as if I should go ask for a new laptop from certain people; or to just create a time schedule in order for me and the old man to be happy. Maybe it's the fact that I've been trying to re-write this certain story which I started during first year (Yanna, China and Biannah, if you happen to stumble across this blog, do remember that story? During the Centennial?), and I'm trying to make the characters a little less Sue-ish and a little more real. Or, and this is the most plausible reason for my sudden migraines, maybe it's the fear of entering  third year- the hardest and scariest year known to man. It could also be a combination of all three.

Whatever it is, I am in great need of Advil right now. I'm just going to finish writing this article before I take a nice, long, cold shower. Or... maybe I should take it right now and leave this article half finished. After all, authors do leave their work in mid-sentence (TFIOS, anyone?). It gives the readers something to

Blank Mind, Blank Blog

My mind is blank. I don't exactly know what to write or even if I should be writing with such a blank mind. For some reason, words have escaped me and the ability to just know what to write has escaped me. I remember the days when I could just wake up in the morning and know that I'm going to write this or I'm going to write that. I can't do that today. It seems that I am experiencing the tragedy which is known as writer's block.

And now, what am I supposed to do? Most of the day, I spend it infront of the computer--- either on Tumblr. Tumblring away, commenting on the latest Avengers' post or something like that; or I'm on the RP, writing paras or having conversations. As of right now, it took me ten minutes to think of the title of this blog post... and twenty minutes to figure out what the first word of this entry shall be. The blinking line mocks me. I can already hear it saying: You call yourself a writer? Prove it. Write something as catchy or as brilliant as what the others say. You can't, right?

Okay, maybe it is not saying that... but that's what my subconscious mind is thinking. It's as if it's telling me to be a better writer, or at least to try to be a better writer. I really could improve my grammar (me no write properly unlike other people), and my vocabulary needs to be widened (I have to stop saying okay! or yeah, totally!). I should start doing more crossword puzzles and find it games. That'll at least make part of my summer productive.Speaking of productivity, I started reviewing myself in both Algebra, Chemistry and English. I've been reading the Merchant of Venice and I've been brushing up on my factoring and such.

Ah, well. I swear, after I finish this blog post, I'm going to look for some crossword puzzles to fill out. My mind is itching to be renewed.

I should probably just leave it there. I mean, it's time to eat and then it's time to fix my brain and attitude. I'll see you guys later.

Just a rant

No. This is not a rant about how suckish my life is (actually, it isn't right now. I'm having a blast and I'm excited for third year). This is a rant about how people just go: "OH! That's JUST Hawkeye and Black Widow." It's about people saying: "They're not real superheros. In fact, they ruin the name of the Avengers." I hate how people undermine the two just because they don't have a supersuit like Iron Man, or that they don't have super strength like Thor or Captain America.

I, in my own opinion, admire both Hawkeye and Black Widow--- because they weren't born with greatness and they didn't have greatness thrust upon them. They earned it. Everything special about them came from experience and rigorous training. Yes, they might not be as kickass as Captain America or Thor or Iron Man or the Hulk, they're not to be underrated. Didn't Shakespeare once say: Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon 'em? Does achieving greatness less than being born or being given greatness? No. It actually gives you all the more reason to be proud of yourself.

Thor was born great. He was a demigod; the son of Odin. He was to be the king of Asgard. The other three (Iron Man, Captain America and the Hulk), were given the opportunity to attain greatness. Black Widow and Hawkeye needed to work towards greatness. They're all equals. They're all part of the Avengers. Nothing's ever going to change that.

Famous Video Games

Hullo there! Okay, so right now I'm not planning on writing anything philosophical as of the moment--- because, in fact, my mind is a total blank; but I am planning on writing and creating a list of several video games which I was; and am addicted to. This idea came to me as I was thinking about Avengers Alliance (a video game which shall be discussed later).

1) Pokemon Emerald 

I was around grade three when I started playing Pokemon Emerald. I had a blast catching all those Pokemon (in reality, I almost caught all of the Pokemon; but because of school and boredom, I wasn't able to) and I was even able to win against the Elite Four. I also was able to reach that island at the end (I forgot what the island is called and I wasn't exactly able to beat everyone on the island). I'll miss my Pokemon; too bad I can't play it again. I sold the game for 500 bucks--- I regret doing that.

2) Harvest Moon:  Boy and Girl

I loved this game; I absolutely did. I was so addicted to this; to the point of actually searching for cheat sheets and whatnot online. I was courting Gray (the son of the blacksmith), and I was also running a farm called Paradise Farm. I had a pregnant cow and ten chickens. I also upgraded my house in order to get a kitchen (so I could cook for Gray, of course). In the end my character married Gray, (no surprise there) and the game ended. -sighs- I wish I could play it again... but it's just becoming too easy. I want to download the rest of the games, though. I need the Harvest Moon fever again. 

3) Kingdom Hearts II

I thank Michi and the others for introducing me to Sora, Roxas, Riku and all the others. I remembered timing myself whenever I'd play this so I wouldn't go overboard (before I did, I played this game for six hours straight).Oh god, I miss that keyblade. I miss swinging at the heartless and whatnot. Oh, and I loved the crossover with Final Fantasy and Disney. All hail King Mickey! 

4) Lego StarWars 

Mum was also addicted to this game as well. We finished this in just one month. It was actually quite fun; I'd always play a Jedi, she'd always play someone who can jump really high and could collect coins. I always downloaded this game on my PSP--- won it immediately. Oh, and Yoda was cute too.

5) Marvel: Avengers Alliance

If you're one of my Facebook friends, you should know that I've been sending a lot of requests in order to win this game. I have been asking for things such as Unstable Isotope Number 8 or some Restoration packs. You see, ever since watching the Avengers, I've been looking for more ways to get more familiar with this certain fandom. As of right now, I have been undergoing this mission in order to retrieve Mockingbird; and I am failing at it. Gods, Piledriver is such a hard boss and I can barely beat the other guys and gift limit and such. And I really just want Mockingbird on my team.

I am such a nerd. 

Any video game suggestions? Anything? I am open to any suggestions. 

Destruction and Doom of __________

Do you know that feeling when you just want to torture the characters you have made? Well, I'm feeling that now. For some reason, I had this certain character in mind which I just want to destroy inside and out. It's like I'm tempted to rip her guts out and feed it to the hellhounds. I'm tempted to throw her away in the corner of the earths so that no one would ever see her again. I want this certain character to be humiliated one way or another... but if I do that again, I fear that she'll become a Mary Sue.

So, what do you think? Should I destroy this certain character (who most of you who follow my blog know about) or should I make her life happy? 

Tis your opinion which I shall listen to. 

Black and White

Black and White.

Nothing is black and white anymore. The line between good and bad suddenly disappeared into nothingness. Confusion and justification has taken its place. Whenever you do something which other people deem as good, there will always be a handful of people correcting you; telling you that what you did was wrong. So, then, if that is the case, what exactly is good?

Google dictionary defined good as something that is morally right or righteous. It sounds simple enough. Do what is righteous and you'll be one of the good guys; but seriously, what is righteous? If you ask ten people what they think of that word, you'd probably be getting ten different answers. 

It's like asking whether Robin Hood was right to steal from the rich and give to the poor. A lot of people would say that the end does not justify the means. A lot of people would also say that he was giving the people the money which they deserved. Personally, I would think that he did do the right thing. Robin Hood was the only one with the initiative to go and stand up to their corrupt monarchy; if he thought that stealing from the rich was the only way to restore balance to the universe, then by all means, he did the right thing.

Though that is my personal opinion, my family disagrees with me. I love my family, yes, but I do admit that their views of society clash with mine; most of the people in my household are very old school--- I'm not saying that it's wrong to think that way (a little old school can help sometimes), but I can't help but think that their views are outdated and sometimes, a bit useless.

The word good, in my opinion, grows with us. As each year passes, we start to learn more about that word and soon, we'll learn the real meaning of good, if there is any that is. Sometimes what people think of as good isn't so good after all. I remember the time when the African Americans were degraded by society. I remember how people thought that they were dirty and how they were forced to be slaves of the others. People thought that by putting them "in their place", they were doing the right thing. That was years ago. Now, people are promoting equality among the races. That's what is right now. That which was considered as wrong before is now deemed as a beautiful thing. What would have happened if we did not question the slavery of the African Americans? What would have happened then? Would we still consider them as dirty objects? Will we still consider segregation and discrimination as good? 

This little essay has become long-winded. It was just on my mind for several days now and I just needed to release everything. I'm wondering if I did the good thing. I guess I'll never know.

Payphone

Have you ever experienced that slightly annoying moment when the song you last heard is stuck in your head? Well, for the zillionth time in my life, that has happened. This song has been quite famous among my friends; but it was only five days ago when I first decided to click that play button and listen to this. Right now, as I write this simple and short article, I listen to the lyrics: If happy ever after did exist, I will would still be holding you like this. All these fairytales are full of shit, one more fucking love song, I'll be sick. 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I am experiencing the last song syndrome with the song Payphone sang by Maroon 5 and Wiz Khalifa. 

Please enjoy this video. I hope you get LSS as well. 

Avengers: Novelty Items

With the exception of the Harry Potter series, I was never truly addicted to something until now. For the past few weeks, my life has consisted hunting down Marvel novelty items and wishing I could have said objects. So far, I have spotted Thor's hammer, Iron Man's mask, Captain American's shield and a collection of small bobble heads.

I've bought a comic book (Avengers Assemble :#1) worth P200, which I read in five minutes. I have no regrets in buying that comic book as I hope the value of this one will go up per year. (Haha. I'm kidding. I just loved the comic book though. It was the prequel to Avengers VS. X-Men... and right now, I am dying to buy that one because I was left hanging by this one). I'm also looking forward to getting the four Tumblers Petron has been promoting and the two mugs sold in Jollibee. (Thank you grandfather and Gillian Yap).

I really also hope to get the Nerf gun of Hawkeye. I've been eyeing that one since Clint Barton is my favorite Avenger. Actually, he's tied with Bruce Banner- which reminds me that I'm also dying to get those gloves which make you look like you have Hulk hands or something like that. So... in order, I want to get

• Nerf Gun of Clint Barton
• Bruce Banner's hands
• Iron Man's mask
• Thor's hammer
• Captain America's shield

(This is not including the comic books, just so you know).

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! 

Hugo

His name is Hugo-- Hugo Cabret; and he lives in a train station.

Earlier this afternoon, I watched a brilliant movie about a boy. Hugo Caberet is a young boy who loved to tinker with objects (his specialty is clocks). Now this young boy Hugo, tried to steal a toy mouse from Monsieur Georges and was caught in doing so; because of this, Georges stole the boy's notebook (which belonged to his deceased father) and threatened to burn it. In desperation, Hugo follows Monsieur Georges home and begs him to not burn his notebook. When Georges turns a blind eye to the poor boy, he asks help from Isabelle, the bookworm and vocabulary buff goddaughter of Georges.

This movie has taught me a lot of things; although the one lesson that I will forever hold in my heart is that you should never fail to dream. In the movie (SPOILER ALERT), Georges Méliès gave up on his dream to make movies after the war ended; that lead him to enter the cold and harsh zone of depression. For years, Georges tried to forget his past dreams, and focus on his present situation in life. It was only after he met Hugo did he realize that dreams are meant to be achieved; and although the failures of the past may get you down, the promise of the future always looms in air. Never forget that.

Drabbles and Other Things

I don't want to enter my pit of self-pity again but sometimes I can't help it.

Well, it's not actually fun to hate yourself but it satisfies this sort of sick wanting that bubbles inside of you- at least, that's how I feel whenever I see a flaw. I view self-pity and loathing as a drug; it's something which slowly kills you, yet somehow you can't live without it. Am I making any sense? Probably not. So, I'll just write about my experiences of self-hating here on this blog.

~~

I was never exactly comfortable with myself--- my body, my mind, my attitude. I was never they type of person to stay optimistic; the type that says: Everything's going to be fine. In fact, from January-March of the year 2012, I could have won the Noble prize for being the greatest pessimist of the 21st century. You should have seen my previous blog (it has two long posts about how I am the most imperfect person in this universe and little bitchy rants like that), the blog which lead into the falling out with this close friend of mine. 

Getting out of this state of mind proved to be quite a challenge for me. Even with the knowledge that half of my friends absolutely enjoyed my company (that was sarcasm; they were pissed off with my very existence, thank you very much; I don't blame them, I was too), I still continued to drown myself in this sort of state of mind. It took several weeks, two sessions with a psychiatrist and a lot of headslaps, but I was finally able to get into another and much better state of mind. 

I finally reached the: I'll do what I love and I'll love what I do. Fuck the rest. 

~~~

Sometimes I shift back into that already shitty idea of myself and yeah, sometimes, I do think that I'm this giant screw up who disgraces my whole family... 

But that all can be fixed with one little headslap.

Nothing Personal

This is my fourth blog.

Yes, my fourth; and unlike my first three, I intend on keeping this damn blog up and running. Before that, though, let me explain the untimely demise of my first three.

The first blog I had was on Tumblr- a very modest writing blog where I posted a story about a girl named Elise.   It's about time-travelling and different universes which somehow all connect to one Mary-Sue. Needless to say, after rereading my first chapter about her meeting her best friend and her soon-to-be boyfriend, I needed to scrap the stories of Elise. It would be a career suicide not to.

My second blog was a Posterous blog; a simple and plagiarized blog. I attempted to somewhat, mimic, the blog of my former classmate who shall remain unnamed. Needless to say, I was envious of her many readers; of how many people would go up and say: Wow. Your blog is amazing. So, I decided to follow her example and log into posterous... let's just say that after one post, I gave up.

Now, onto the interesting part. This will be about my third and supposedly final blog. It was doing quite well, thank you very much---over a hundred viewers; one hundred and counting. Sadly, some people weren't liking what I was posting in my blog (don't worry; after backreading, I started to hate what I was posting on my blog as well). One of my readers, a very close friend of mine, started posting very mean things about me on her personal blog and Twitter. In fact, she's one of the very reasons that I stopped going on Twitter. Although it is very tempting to rant about what she did to me, I will not. What she did was simply a reaction to my action. It's what you call the Ripple Effect.

This will be my fourth and hopefully, final blog. I won't be making this a very public blog (for fear of history repeating itself), but I'll give this link to whoever wants to read my rants, babbles and any other interesting ideas.