Right now, there are two things on my mind. One is about the constant yelling and podium-slamming that's happening on TV right now; I am watching the final verdict of Corona that is happening on my television. After watching Miriam Defensor's speech, I couldn't help but think: Wow. Shouting really doesn't help when you want to be listened to.
Take note, I said listened to. Not heard. There is a very big difference between the two.
Sure, I was interested in the speech of Ms. Miriam Defensor, but honestly, I couldn't help but reach for my remote control and turn down the volume as she yelled. Her mouth, moving in directions I couldn't have dreamed a mouth could moved in, caught my attention--- more so than the words coming out of her mouth. The way she switched from Filipino to English really got on my nerves; once I got used to her screaming in rapid fire Filipino, she'd suddenly pull an Oprah Winfrey and give a very clear and proper sentence spoken in English. It was only during the end, after I went up and got an Advil pill from the medicine case, did I realize that she didn't want Corona to be convicted.
Groaning at the fact that her voice was very loud and annoying, I went to my grandfather and said that Miriam Defensor should not have spoken; and that she should have said her verdict in one sentence, I was shocked that he answered me with a simple sentence: She had the best argument.
Now that I had time to think of it, I really didn't listen to her message. In fact, I simply sat there, complaining that she was straining her vocal cords. Yes, I heard her voice (which was very loud, in fact), but I didn't listen to what she said. Perhaps Miriam Defensor had a good speech, and perhaps her arguments were very strong and thought-out, but her shouting got in the way of what she was saying. When you shout, you don't only make yourself tired; you actually make everyone listening to you tired as well. Most of the people in the room, would just go: What the hell, I'll just put on my earplugs. Tell me when she's done talking; and only the few with a a bucket filled with patience would just go and actually listen to the person shouting.
That is why from now on, I promise not to strain my voice. I promise not to scream when no one listens to me, or when someone starts arguing with me. If I want someone to listen, I'll simply go talk to that person calmly and assertively--- the perfect combination, according to Cesar Milan, that is.
~~~
The second thing on my mind is on jealousy. Well, not the kind of jealousy which Korra might feel whenever she'd see Mako and Asami together (Oh my gods, I am addicted to that show.); no, I'm talking about the jealousy I feel whenever I see two of my friends growing closer together as I slowly drift away. You see, I have had this friend since god knows when. I grew close to this person, and I considered her as a sister. We talked for hours on end, and she seeemed like someone I could confide with. She became that friend I'd always dream I would have--- the Stitch to my Lilo, the Flounder to my Ariel, the Mushu to my Mulan....
But suddenly, we added another person to our loop and soon we became a triad. It was fun for me at first. I decided to welcome this person with open arms; making sure she'll feel accepted in our circle (not that I needed to; my other friend was doing fine without me). The phrase "the more the merrier" came into mind as I'd talk to her and my friend. I definitely agreed with that statement then...
As of now, I'm not so sure. I feel that I'm starting to drift away from the two; I feel as if I'm slowly turning into a ghost when I stay with them. Now a days, I merely observe from a distance as I watch the two talk to each other, or if I do talk to them, they start talking about what they did while I was somewhere in the universe. I felt left out. It's as if I became the middle man, the fallback guy and whatnot.
But I don't blame them. I don't blame myself. I don't blame anyone else but growth, maturity and development... and the weird thing is, I don't know why I blame them either.
~~~
Anyway, I can't think of anything else to write. I'll just stop writing and take another long, cold shower. That might be able to clear my mind.
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